Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
Every marriage has problems, even good marriages. The difference between a good and a bad marriage is simply the ability to work through problems. The good news is that every person can learn successful conflict resolution.
One of the first principles of conflict resolution is how to deal with anger. In Ephesians 4:26, the first thing that the Apostle Paul tells us about dealing with anger is that we must acknowledge it. He says, “Be angry...” Denying anger doesn’t make it go away; instead, it makes it build up until it explodes in a destructive and unmanageable manner.
Anger isn’t necessarily good or bad; it’s just real. As human beings, we get angry. Sometimes it is because we’ve been genuinely violated. In other cases, it’s because we’re immature or have unrealistic expectations or are selfish.
You need to learn that you shouldn’t go to bed angry. Learn to accept our own anger, but we also learn that you have to give each other the right to be angry and to express anger. Learning to be honest about your anger and allowing your spouse to do the same is the first step in successful conflict resolution. Once you are able to accept your anger, you must also commit to doing the right thing with it. You can never use your anger to justify unrighteous behavior. How you resolve conflict is crucial. It must be resolved in a manner that honors God and treats your spouse with dignity and care.
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