A Naked Marriage

  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

It is interesting that when God created Adam and Eve, He create them naked and without any shame related to it. The word “naked” in Genesis 2:25 means “to be exposed.” God created marriage to be a place you could totally expose yourself to each other – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and physically – without shame.

This is what makes intimacy on every level possible in marriage. When you are truly “naked” without shame in marriage, you can share your lives with each other. You can talk about anything without fear. Adam and Eve were created naked without shame until sin entered into the relationship. Once they sinned, they could no longer trust each other. Paradise was lost and they now feared intimacy with God and each other and covered themselves with fig leaves. Genesis 3:7

The good news is that Paradise can be restored when couples take responsibility for their actions and apologize for any damaging behavior. There must be openness in our relationship. Nothing destroys intimacy more than secrets. Don't take your relationship for granted. Keep the lines of communication open. When you make a mistake, apologize quickly. This is the only way to create a “naked” marriage the way God intended.

Praying For A Godly Marriage

 

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

In his last days, the great patriarch Abraham primary concern was that his son marry a woman of the same 0faith. Genesis 24 The command to marry only within their faith was repeated to Israel throughout the Old Testament. Deut. 7:3; Nehemiah 13:25 The result of intermarriage were devastating. King Solomon married many foreign wives and as a result he no longer “wholly” followed the Lord. 1 Kings 11:1,4 The theme continues in the New Testament: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” 2 Cor. 6:14

We no longer live in a culture where parents arrange their children's marriages. But we can pray for their marriage partners. My wife and I prayed continually that God would send godly people into our children's lives so that as they will have partners in faith and life who will strengthen their hearts in the Lord.

The Three Minute Principle

 A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:4 NAS)

It has been proven in research that the first three minutes of any confrontation between spouses dictates the rest of the encounter. A harsh start-up dooms a conversation to failure from the beginning. A harsh start-up means beginning a disagreement with your spouse by yelling, accusing, making threats, name-calling or so on.

When you confront in a loving manner Ephesians 4:15, your spouse is in no way threatened. Your humble, affirming posture puts him or her in the best environment possible to hear what you have to say and to be able to respond. I have known many couples who begin every serious confrontation with threats of divorce or by calling their spouse terrible names. Remember this—words are nuclear and eternal. The Bible says that we have the power of death and life in our mouths (Proverbs 18:21).

People who don’t understand this damage each other and ruin their chances at happiness. Those who understand the power of words realize that they must be careful what they say. Never is this principle more important than in conflict resolution.

When your feelings are hurt and you feel rejected and angry, you must keep your words carefully controlled. You must not allow your emotions to control your actions, but rather, let wisdom control your words.

To successfully resolve conflict, you must begin with words of love and affirmation. Remember, the first three minutes of the conversation will determine the outcome in almost every case. Use them wisely and your marriage will reap the benefits.

A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

Getting Real About Anger

 Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Every marriage has problems, even good marriages. The difference between a good and a bad marriage is simply the ability to work through problems. The good news is that every person can learn successful conflict resolution.

One of the first principles of conflict resolution is how to deal with anger. In Ephesians 4:26, the first thing that the Apostle Paul tells us about dealing with anger is that we must acknowledge it. He says, “Be angry...” Denying anger doesn’t make it go away; instead, it makes it build up until it explodes in a destructive and unmanageable manner.

Anger isn’t necessarily good or bad; it’s just real. As human beings, we get angry. Sometimes it is because we’ve been genuinely violated. In other cases, it’s because we’re immature or have unrealistic expectations or are selfish.

You need to learn that you shouldn’t go to bed angry. Learn to accept our own anger, but we also learn that you have to give each other the right to be angry and to express anger. Learning to be honest about your anger and allowing your spouse to do the same is the first step in successful conflict resolution. Once you are able to accept your anger, you must also commit to doing the right thing with it. You can never use your anger to justify unrighteous behavior. How you resolve conflict is crucial. It must be resolved in a manner that honors God and treats your spouse with dignity and care.

#anger #conflict #marriage #relationship