What Did You Say?

 “Use different messaging for different groups to ensure your communications are relevant.” – Andrea Plos

There is an old adage that says, “I know what I said but I'm not sure what you heard.” That is so true when we speak of communication. You cannot have a proper, healthy relationship without good communication. It affects every area of life: Husband/wife. Parents/children. Boss/employee. I cannot speak to another person from a different country unless I speak their language.

In 1990, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the best seller The Five Love Languages. In his book, he describes the basic ways to show love to other people. Everyone has a desire to be loved but everyone is so different there are different ways to show that love. He gives us five different ways to communicate love.

1. Words of Affirmation: This love language consists of encouraging, positive words and verbal

2. Acts of Service: Doing things that express your love

3. Receiving Gifts: Showing your love through gift giving

4. Quality Time: Giving quality time to another

5. Physical Touch: Hugs, holding hands, etc.

I thought my wife's love language was receiving gifts but it wasn't until we sat down to discuss these “languages” did in discover she wanted quality time from me. Now instead of giving her gifts, I often sit on our couch and listen/talk with her and I found out that my “language” was words of affirmation.

If you want to have better relationships, take the time to discover that person's love language.

Have You Surrended?

 “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me"  Matthew 16:24

This morning, I read a news article about a woman who was frustrated in a McDonald's Drive Thru. It seems that she was upset because they did not have the food item that was listed on the menu and as a result, she pulled a gun on the worker!! Where is all this anger coming from? Every day we hear of multitudes of shootings, many over trivial things!

I am not a psychologist, but it appears to me that the majority of anger issues stem from a sense that a person's rights was violated or denied!

• Road rage occurs when someone is driving too slow and another person feels their right to drive faster is prohibited. 
• Domestic violence is often caused by refusing to yield personal "rights." 
• A teacher was brutally assaulted after she took away a student's computer toy.
• People get infuriated when someone cuts in line.

What would happen if instead of demanding OUR rights, we put others first? Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 I know that goes against human nature but I think it would solve many problems. 

Covering Your Sin?

   "...be sure that your sin will find you out." Numbers 32:23

 

When Adam and Eve were created, they were perfect and sinless. They lived in a perfect environment, until they yielded to temptation and everything changed at that point. Immediately, Adam and Eve realized they were naked. “Then both of them knew things they had never known before. They realized they were naked...” Genesis 3:7 Also immediately, they sensed fear for the first time. Genesis 3:10

What (Who) were they afraid of? God! They were afraid God would discover they had sinned! Like, the all-knowing God didn't already know!! Psalm 139 So, in fear they decided to make clothes from fig leaves. Genesis 3:7 For centuries man has entertained the idea that he can hide his wickedness. If others do not know, what’s the difference? The difference is: wrong is still wrong, whether others know it or not.

How did God respond to their man-made covering? He rejected man's attempt to cover his sin because sin cannot be covered up by man's efforts. God killed an animal (?) and made them a covering, because without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. Hebrews 9:22 The slain animal was symbolic of Jesus Christ coming to sacrifice Himself for our sin.

What should our response be today when we sin? Conceal it? No! “The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy.” Proverbs 28:13 We need to confess and forsake it. “But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.” I John 1:9

A Naked Marriage

  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

It is interesting that when God created Adam and Eve, He create them naked and without any shame related to it. The word “naked” in Genesis 2:25 means “to be exposed.” God created marriage to be a place you could totally expose yourself to each other – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and physically – without shame.

This is what makes intimacy on every level possible in marriage. When you are truly “naked” without shame in marriage, you can share your lives with each other. You can talk about anything without fear. Adam and Eve were created naked without shame until sin entered into the relationship. Once they sinned, they could no longer trust each other. Paradise was lost and they now feared intimacy with God and each other and covered themselves with fig leaves. Genesis 3:7

The good news is that Paradise can be restored when couples take responsibility for their actions and apologize for any damaging behavior. There must be openness in our relationship. Nothing destroys intimacy more than secrets. Don't take your relationship for granted. Keep the lines of communication open. When you make a mistake, apologize quickly. This is the only way to create a “naked” marriage the way God intended.

Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

 

The year was 1963. A successful tractor manufacturer was unhappy with his Ferrari. He thinks the car's clutch breaks too easily, so he drives to the home of Enzo Ferreri, the founder of the Ferreri sports car. He explains how with a simple change the clutch problem could be solved. Mr. Ferrieri had a hard time accepting constructive criticism. Instead of listening to the proposal, he rejects the tractor builder with the now famous words: 

"Let me build cars. You stick to making tractors."

That response was a painful rebuff. Really bad. He was also an engineer and his tractors were the best in Italy. On his way home, he decided he would also build sports cars. And they would be faster and better than Enzo Ferrari's. The man's name was Ferruccio Lamborghini.  His cars became a fierce competitor of Ferrari.  

Ferrari judged Lamborghini by his present standing not realizing the man's capabilities. The Bible tells us not to judge people by outward appearance. 1 Samuel 16:7