What Did You Say?

 “Use different messaging for different groups to ensure your communications are relevant.” – Andrea Plos

There is an old adage that says, “I know what I said but I'm not sure what you heard.” That is so true when we speak of communication. You cannot have a proper, healthy relationship without good communication. It affects every area of life: Husband/wife. Parents/children. Boss/employee. I cannot speak to another person from a different country unless I speak their language.

In 1990, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the best seller The Five Love Languages. In his book, he describes the basic ways to show love to other people. Everyone has a desire to be loved but everyone is so different there are different ways to show that love. He gives us five different ways to communicate love.

1. Words of Affirmation: This love language consists of encouraging, positive words and verbal

2. Acts of Service: Doing things that express your love

3. Receiving Gifts: Showing your love through gift giving

4. Quality Time: Giving quality time to another

5. Physical Touch: Hugs, holding hands, etc.

I thought my wife's love language was receiving gifts but it wasn't until we sat down to discuss these “languages” did in discover she wanted quality time from me. Now instead of giving her gifts, I often sit on our couch and listen/talk with her and I found out that my “language” was words of affirmation.

If you want to have better relationships, take the time to discover that person's love language.