Dark Night of the Soul - Part Two

 

In my last blog I dealt with my personal “Dark Night of the Soul.' I briefly described how it affected me but did not have space to share how to survive the experience. I mentioned that if you have been a Christ-follower for long, you have probably found a time in your spiritual journey when you came to an abrupt halt. You may have experienced depression, hopelessness, confusion, lethargy, anger, sadness, even thoughts of suicide.

Many people seek the help of a psychologist during this experience and are wrongfully diagnosed with depression and are given antidepressants, The thing is, the problem is not in your head, it is in your soul. It is happening because you are in the process of incredibly painful spiritual transformation.

Growing in your relationship with Christ is a process. But that growth does not progress in a straight line. Our journey goes up and down, forward and backward. The goal is to develop a more Christ-like character.

Space does not allow me to fully treat how to deal with this subject but let me share some help while you go through your 'Dark Night.'

1. Educate yourself. The more you know the better off you will be, There are many helpful articles online.

2. Surrender and Trust. The more you resist the transformation process, the more pain you will feel. But once you let go, you will find freedom

3. Accept where you are at. You are right where God wants you to be.

4. Stay close to people who love you.

5. Pray and meditate. Pray for strength and guidance.

6. Exercise

7. Listen to spiritually uplifting music.

8. Focus on the positive. Philippians  4:8

Remember, this season will not last forever, You will be able to look back and see it as a blessing and not a curse. 

Dark Night of the Soul

I wish I could say I was perfect, but I am not. When I think I have it “all together”; I find I don't. As hard as I try to serve Christ; I often fail. Recently, I found myself spinning my “spiritual” wheels. That is when I pray, I don't really feel connected. When I read Scripture, I get no new revelation. The harder I try to serve God; the more distant He seems.

I have been a Christian long enough to know that my relationship with Christ is not always a 'mountain top' experience. As in all relationships, there are highs and lows. I thoroughly enjoy the 'high' moments, but I dread the 'low' moments.

As an amateur Church historian, I remember reading the biographies of many notable Christians: Charles Spurgeon, Protestant reformer Martin Luther, 18^th century Missionary to the Native Americans David Brainerd, and most notable was Mother Theresa and those are just a few that have struggled with spiritual lows. I should take comfort to be included in their number. But I still don't like where I am at.

I think if we were all honest, we have all struggled with what has been called “The Dark Night of the Soul.” For some of us, these times might just be several days. For others, it might be months. Some of the “greats” of the faith struggled for years.

The purpose of this blog is to encourage transparency among the Body of Christ. (Myself included) Galatians 6:2 says, “Help carry each other's burden...” If you hide the fact that you are struggling spiritually, no one can help you through your struggle. So, find someone with whom you can be open and share your struggle. 

The Teeter-Totter Syndrome

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5 – 6

If you have read my blog with any regularity, you would have noticed that I have three subjects that I write upon The Church, the family, and marriage. There are two reasons. First, God instituted all three. Secondly, only these three can change our culture and us personally.

Similar to a playground teeter-totter on a playground; when couples are close; their weight is balanced. But what happens if one of them moves backwards? Everything the other person does affects your side – just like marriage. Our natural response is to “adjust” our position to keep our balance, but the result is we become further apart.

But there is a way to avoid this. Similar to a playground teeter-totter on a playground. When they are close; their weight is balanced. But what happens if one of them moves backwards? Everything the other person does affects your side – just like marriage. Our natural response is to “adjust” our position to keep our balance, but the result is we become further apart. But there is a way to avoid this.

1. Talk to your spouse (lovingly Ephesians 4:15) about their behavior and tell them you feel a distance. Don't react and create more distance.
2. Take responsibility for your own actions.
3. If you cannot resolve the issue, get help. Be willing to get advice and take it.

#marriage#conflict#relationships

I've Been Pranked!

 

Though pranks have been with us for thousands of years, it's taken a new turn with access to social media. A prank is defined as a practical joke or mischievous act.

As a true follower of Jesus Christ, I don't believe pranks are consistent with the Christian life. I realize that this is my personal opinion and pulling a prank is not a sin but I do not think it adds credibility to our testimony.

I look at life through the lens of a Biblical worldview. That is, I think the principles found in Scripture should guide how we live. For example, the “Golden Rule.” The Golden Rule is the principle of treating others as one wants to be treated. Matthew 7:12

Watch the videos and it looks like the only ones enjoying the prank are those committing them. I John 2:6 says as a Christ-followers - “The one who claims to remain in him [Jesus] ought to live in the same way as he lived.”

Can you imagine Jesus Christ pulling a prank on someone? The point of a prank is to laugh at someone's response to the prank. Would Jesus laugh at someone's embarrassment? Would Jesus prank someone for enjoyment? I don't think so. If someone has pranked you, how did you feel? I doubt you enjoyed it. No one likes being laughed at or being embarrassed.

Think before you prank!

Where Has Time Gone?

 

We all have 10,080 minutes in a week. The problem with time is it passes by so quickly. We all hear, "Where did the day go?" or "This week flew by." James 4:14 says “Life is like a vapor, it's here one day, gone the next.”

Too many people are busy making a living and forget to make a life.” Jesus said, “ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33 The 'things' Jesus referred to are usually the 'things' that rob us from or crowd out the most important things in life; our relationship with Christ, our family and serving others. Jesus said, when we put first things first He will will take care of all the other “things” in life.

In today's fast-passed culture, we have become masters at multi-tasking in order to get everything done and squeeze everything done. However, the biggest temptation is to confuse activity with accomplishment. Time is life's most precious commodity; not gold or silver.

The executive who has worked 60-80 hours a week and is dying from a terminal illness doesn't wish for more time at the office. No, he wants to spend time with his the family he has neglected. The most important thing we can do is make the best use of our time. This may mean giving up good things for better things. Ephesians 5:16

Getting Real About Anger

 Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Every marriage has problems, even good marriages. The difference between a good and a bad marriage is simply the ability to work through problems. The good news is that every person can learn successful conflict resolution.

One of the first principles of conflict resolution is how to deal with anger. In Ephesians 4:26, the first thing that the Apostle Paul tells us about dealing with anger is that we must acknowledge it. He says, “Be angry...” Denying anger doesn’t make it go away; instead, it makes it build up until it explodes in a destructive and unmanageable manner.

Anger isn’t necessarily good or bad; it’s just real. As human beings, we get angry. Sometimes it is because we’ve been genuinely violated. In other cases, it’s because we’re immature or have unrealistic expectations or are selfish.

You need to learn that you shouldn’t go to bed angry. Learn to accept our own anger, but we also learn that you have to give each other the right to be angry and to express anger. Learning to be honest about your anger and allowing your spouse to do the same is the first step in successful conflict resolution. Once you are able to accept your anger, you must also commit to doing the right thing with it. You can never use your anger to justify unrighteous behavior. How you resolve conflict is crucial. It must be resolved in a manner that honors God and treats your spouse with dignity and care.

#anger #conflict #marriage #relationship

A Little Care Repair

 

Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. (Proverbs 16:24, NLT)

Every couple faces communication challenges in their marriage. After 53 years of marriage, I am still working on my communication skills. I've learned that no manner how you try to communicate; if you don't care, it won't make a difference. The actual breakdown of communication in marriage begins when attitudes begin to change. When you first started dating, your conversations were great! Why? Because you cared! You worked to understand each other.

Fast forward into marriage when communication breaks down and you'll find a different story. For marriage to be successful you must have an open line of communication. That will only take place if you feel as though the other person cares. As you care about your partner, it will become easier to understand the opposite sex. It's really not that hard o figure out the person you are married to if you really care about them.

Are you experiencing a breakdown in communication because of some negative aspects in relating to your spouse? If so, talk about ways to make positive changes in those areas.